I do so agree with all that's been said about 'Noogans being cheapskates or spoiled ingrates - I've seen this on many fronts here in Chatt-town. My take is that it's symptomatic of larger-scale issues, with Economics being only the biggest one. To step back a bit and look at Chattanooga as a stop on someone's tour bus, it ain't anywhere close to what it was in the 1980s. We're geographically stuck in the middle. Oh, but we do have a really nice Aquarium and the Fair (Riverbend) comes to town every year. It's easy to get bored as hell here in Chattanooga and a lot of folks - the one's a club-owner would prefer to have around, cause they got some extra cash - hit the damn road to Nashville, Atlanta, maybe Knoxville as the big tours still roll thru those places. That being said, I do think Chattanooga has really stepped up big-time in the last couple of years. I missed Down and Dethklok, but that Napalm Death show was badass. I thought Cage the Elephant were kinda so-so, but it was a good time. Some of the area bars and clubs are making an effort. There's a lot of quality local bands too, but, goddamn, after awhile who gives a fuck about seeing 'The Electric Jim-Bobs' play at the same club every couple of weeks? Your boss at Burger King won't let you off to go on tour, or your drummer got locked up again for being behind on Child Support payments, etc. You never got your big break. So no matter how tight your band sounds, or how much your guitarist shreds - you ain't nobody special in Chattanooga until you can manage to get the fuck out of Chattanooga and make a name for yourself somewhere else. Until then, we still need a clean up on aisle nine. And I'm not just talking about the local music scene - There's a lotta folks in town whose britches aren't anywhere near as big as they'd like to think. "Yeah, Honey ... I saw you on TV, but your ass is behind me in line at the Grocery Store. And I just got the last gallon of milk." But Chattanooga ain't too shabby. Especially if your car's not running real well. We got Redbox, we have Netflix, we have fiber-optic Cable TV. Thank you, Thomas Edison. And that man who dug the tunnel so Jared could eat Turkey sandwiches at Subway.
On the flipside - we got heads and tall tales here, Suburban Hamilton County is a helluva a good place to raise a family. We here have many, many things to be thankful for. Again, I don't think I'd be as inclined to trust my neighbor, or to trust my mechanic to fix the car as I would in the 1980s. That is also symptomatic of a larger scale issue, but with Nashille and Atlanta no more a part of the picture than New York City. "New York City? Did he just say New York City?" Simmer down, Dimwit, it was really Made In China. Right under that big ol' hole in the Ozone layer. They probably thought we were plunging right into Hell back in the 1950s when Elvis Presley started dry-humping the television screen. Aunt Bee got so hot and bothered she had to go and cool off in the Cement pond. But we ain't nowhere near Hell yet. We got that damn Tennessee River to go cool off in. I'll take a chill pill anytime I can, if you'll get it together and start a better band.
To anyone wondering - No, no, I've yet to get my Sheepskin. Don't have my Foreskin anymore, either. Grease for Peace, hope to see you tomorrow at Ziggy's for Deceased.
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